Watching good leaders motivates you to emulate them. Bad leaders show you the mistakes you must avoid.
The lessons I learned through my mistakes have stuck with me longer and changed me more than anything I could have learned when everything went according to plan.
Lesson 1: I can move forward by taking a step back
Here’s what I learned: fast and forward will always cause resistance. If you don’t deal with resistance when it is a loose pile of gravel, it eventually will become a brick wall you’ll never break down. Instead of fast and forward, take the time to stop, back up, and deal with problems while they’re small.
People naturally resist change, especially when they feel it’s being forced down their throats. By stopping and listening, you can defuse most criticism, enabling you to go forward faster.
Lesson 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. The art of really listening
Give people your full attention. Don’t fidget or look away. Look people in the eye and listen to what they have to say. Repeat back what they’ve said. Most people will leave your office satisfied, even if they still disagree with you. They’ll be able to say, "He didn’t agree with me, but at least I was heard."
Lesson 3: Connect leading with feeding
Vision will indeed motivate people to follow, but only for a short time. I learned I must care for people and love them if I want them to really buy into my leadership long-term. When people are well loved, they follow. In the words of 1 Corinthians 13, if I have great vision, but I don’t have love, I have nothing.
Lesson 4: The king has no clothes
It felt good, but it didn’t help me as a leader.
With time I’ve learned I must surround myself with a team of leaders who will be totally honest. Don’t be too hasty to add someone to this type of inner circle. I’ll ask someone to come alongside me for a set amount of time, such as 60 days, to pray, study, and talk with me. At this point, I don’t give them an official title. I simply want to discern if this is a person with the insight -- and the love -- to tell me when I’m like the emperor parading around without my clothes.
Lesson 5: It is right to say I was wrong
The same principle applies to the church. Too often we think we must be perfect to be an effective leader. We think people can’t see our faults. Guess what? They can. Transparency and honesty are frightening propositions, but they endear you to your people and increase your effectiveness as a leader.
Lesson 6: My commitment to stay affects the church’s commitment to follow
Lesson 7: I overestimated what I could get done in one year, and underestimated what I could get done in ten
Lesson 8: I asked for far too little of my people and cheated them out of lots of joy
Lesson 9: I should lead like God designed me
Lesson 10: If I said it once, I said it a thousand times
Lesson 11: You can disagree with me and still be godly
Yet most disagreements are matters of taste, not a mutiny against the will of God. Godly people can and do disagree. Thank God they do, for they force us to re-examine our hearts and our motives. Sometimes, we will find ourselves in a predicament -- like Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-40) -- where we and our critics must go in different directions, both of us still enjoying God’s blessing.
Lesson 12: Taking your ball and going home doesn’t end the game
Help people learn -- when they find themselves out of alignment with the vision and direction of the body of Christ -- to go to a place where they fit in. Enable them to leave in such a way that they can continue to pray for God’s blessing on your church while you pray for God’s blessing on their lives. Most people only know one way to leave. They become discontented as God prompts them to move. They become mad, leave, and do as much damage as they can on their way out the door. That’s not right. Don’t try to talk unhappy people into staying. Instead, talk them into leaving well.
-Purpose-Driven-®
Brad Johnson is the senior pastor of Calvary Community Church, Westlake Village, Calif. ©Copyright 2005. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
The Holy Spirit moves people out of churches. We accept this when a pastor senses God moving him to a new ministry. Why should church members be any different? This is a hard lesson. As spiritual leaders, we think it is our responsibility to know the mind and heart of God. Therefore, when someone disagrees with us, we assume they must not know the mind and heart of God. We take every criticism to the level of a spiritual issue. We stand with God on one side, our sinful critics on the other. Redundant communication matters. Most of us pastors cannot remember on Wednesday what we said on Sunday. If we forget by Wednesday, our people have forgotten by Sunday night. The only way to make sure they grasp the truth we want to communicate is to repeat it. We resist doing this because we believe if we say something once in the clearest, most compelling and convicting way possible, we’ve done enough. But clear, convicting, and compelling ideas still will be forgotten. Repeat key ideas often enough to allow people to finally get it. Insert important themes into multiple sermons. Care enough about your people to help them make truth their own. Every leader has different skills, different strengths, and different weaknesses. Unfortunately, we look at successful leaders and try to make ourselves like them. When you get to heaven, God won’t ask you why you weren’t more like Rick Warren. He may ask you why you weren’t more like you. Get in touch with who you are. Lead with your own unique style. Be yourself and let God use you. I often assumed people within my church really didn’t want to do much of anything. When a task needed to be done, I said no for them. By doing that, I robbed them of the joy that comes in serving Christ. I learned I must teach people how to find their SHAPE for ministry and challenge them to serve. If you put people in a ministry for which they’re shaped, you have longer terms of service and higher levels of satisfaction. As I mentioned earlier, I used to think the sooner I could get something done, the better leader I was. Therefore, I tried to do everything at once. With time I discovered I must think long term and set realistic goals and deadlines while building something that lasts. Pastors have a history of presenting a grand vision of God’s plan for the church, meeting some resistance, then moving on to greener pastures. Church members sit back and watch this happen time after time after time. As a result your critics know they just need to hold out long enough and they will prevail. Your supporters want to follow but wonder how long you’ll stick with them. If you’re willing to stick through the difficult times, the church will go through them with you. When I became a father, I thought I had to be the perfect dad. I wanted my two daughters to see me as a man of quality who didn’t make mistakes. Of course, this didn’t last long. I learned that pretending I was always right frustrated my girls and caused me to lose credibility in their eyes. Early in my ministry, I felt secure when surrounded by people who always agreed with me. It felt good to go to a meeting, present an idea, and have everyone give me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. I used to think all you needed was a compelling, God-given vision and people would follow you forever. I thought I could stand and tell them all God wanted to do in our church, and they would stick with me to the very end. I was mistaken. Most people -- especially leaders -- are not good listeners. Instead of giving people our full attention, we’re constantly thinking about what we need to do or who we need to see next. Yet all of us want to be heard. When someone doesn’t listen to us, we assume they don’t really care about us. I used to think speed equaled progress, and leaders always made progress. My philosophy was never slow down, never veer off course, never give ground, and never back up. by Brad Johnson